Someone has always answered

Just a scrolling through emails, and found another biggie!

Man, this email highlights being tragedy-adjacent (trigger warning about pew pews), my orthodox Christianity in 2010, teaching being an efffing roller coaster, and probably more. This was fifteen years ago, but struggling to meet the needs of students has not changed one bit.

So, I sent this to my church family following a local shooting. I don't go into details of the horrific event, but more of how it affected my life and how I yearned to be a good steward of my actions AND how lost I felt.

I'll redact names, but those who know, will know.

Here's to copying and pasting!

Hey guys! This is our group's official prayer request hog... So, my prayer request is that you please pray for Lee High School. The daughters of the UAH shooter go to Lee. I spend two hours a day with them. Carolyn also teaches the older one at Lee. They are already socially awkward, and I had a little trouble relating to them before Friday.

I just got information that they are planning on coming to school tomorrow. I originally thought the father was going to home school them for a bit. I am freaked out! I'm so worried I won't handle things correctly. I'm so afraid that my students aren't going to be compassionate. I'm fearful that I will completely put my foot in my mouth, as I often do. In short, I'm scared. I'm refusing to hand this over to God. I'm trying to handle this in my own strength, and we all know how that works out for us. (As I was proofreading this... I remembered... God is not fear. This is all fear-based. The author of confusion is having a hay-day with me right now. It's really hard not to give into it)

So, whatever you feel led to pray, please do. Just so you know... the father is mad at the world, the oldest girl is matching his anger and the two I teach... are probably being told to feel the same. I, personally, am praying for snow... to have one more day between Friday and time with my students. I'm also praying that God will give me peace about this and give me the heart and words for ALL my students when I do see them.

Thank you for living life with me and all my freak outs. Sorry to have them so often. I will see you Wednesday.

His,

Michelle